Hello friends, boy have I miss you guys. I have had so many things going on with my life, I just couldn’t find the time to write a blog posts. You know… from time to time, it’s great to take a step back to re-evaluate things. That’s exactly what I’ve done, and I like to think I’m better and ready to tackle what 2019 will bring me.
2018, was a really hard year for me if I must be honest. I battle things I thought I had left behind years ago. So, let’s get into it! A few years back I talked about my battle with depression. The thing about depression it never truly goes away, you just try and deal with things differently. That’s what I thought I was doing, when I realized that I was sinking yet again.
I started to gain weight, and just didn’t like the person looking back at me in the mirror. I often thought, girl you have a lot to be thankful for, why dwell on the negative. I would stay in my room, and stair at the walls in disbelief that this was my Life. I spent a great deal of time on social media to try and escape from things going on in my life. The thing with that though was, that didn’t help my situation it only made it worse.
I found that nothing was really making me happy anymore. I didn’t want to shop, and definitely didn’t want to take photos. I saw more death in my family in 2018, and it hit me so hard. I thought how will I go on… how can I pick myself up and keep pushing. Because I knew in the end, I was a survivor and God had bigger plans for me. The funniest thing was, I was getting older and I’ve yet to live to my full potential. When will I get it all the way together? Instead of continuing down that road, I turned to someone I will call my angel.
Let’s just say this person came into my life at the right time. My fear was having so many things going around in my head and not being able to share them with anyone. I now had an outlet, and I could feel things starting to get better. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still not the person I would like to be, I’m just dealing with it day by day. My angel made me see that my life had meaning.
Depression will have you thinking that your life is worthless, and no one really wants to know how things are going in your life. That is probably the biggest misconception EVER. My angel showed me that was so not true. I knew deep inside that I had beat this battle before, and I would beat it again. All my life, I’ve had conversations with God daily, but this day was different. My grandmother appeared and told me things may not always go my way, but just keep fighting the fight and tell the DEVIL not today.
I have claimed that 2019, will be the year I live to my full potential. I will not neglect myself anymore. I will be more consistent with things that make me happy. I will get back to the girl that SMILES, and know that smile is REAL. I will be open and honest because my TRUTH could change someone else. So… here’s to a phenomenal year.
Until next time,